Hi friend,
You know what I’ve found to be true? When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and share from our hearts and we begin to have doubts after or fear that we did something wrong by sharing something personal, it’s because it mattered. What we spoke bravely out into a room carved out space and gave permission to the next person to be brave and speak their truth.
I find more times than not that when I want to retract for fear of what someone else might be thinking of me, whatever person I might be thinking of at the time is not the person who was meant to hear my words. Therefore, not my concern. The doubts that come want to keep me from sharing, keep me from putting my heart out into the world. They don’t get to run the show.
Years ago, when I tiptoed my way out of isolation and dripped my story here and there testing the waters, when my words fell on the ears of the person that needed them, they were like living water for a parched soul.
Yes, I have had plenty of experiences with the “deer in the headlights” look. You know the one where after you share your heart someone stares back at you like I have no idea what you are talking about. It happens. You live, you learn, you move on.
You know why I share the video1 above? Because I believe it is a testament to me living vulnerably from my heart. Years ago existing in my cave of isolation, I barely knew who I was, what I liked or enjoyed. I was often afraid to go out in public. Everything felt painful. The shame I felt was the most painful of all.
Now I choose to live from my heart, seen. So that others like me can come out of hiding in their caves of isolation and be seen and known and loved.
Living seen and known from my heart has led to experiences like this past weekend, where I flew my daughter and her two besties to L.A. to see one of their favorite K-Pop bands, Seventeen. I had the time of my life!
Not only did I get to share this moment with my daughter and her friends who I adore, but I also got to have this moment for me, Amy, the girl who always loved to dance and also loves Seventeen and K-Pop music!! I danced and jumped and screamed with the rest of them. It was so FUN!
You know what I love most? That my daughter dares to dream dreams I never dared to dream when I was her age. She believes that she can fly to another state with her best friends to see her favorite band. She knows who she is and what she likes and isn’t afraid for other people to know it. I love and admire this about her. 🥹🫶
What led me to recording this week’s episode is how I handled a recent vulnerability hangover. What you read and see above is the aftermath. Instead of retreating and isolating like I used to in the past, I leaned into it and sang and danced my way through it. It was a newfound freedom that I really enjoyed. And I’d like to do again. :)
21 | 5 Signs You Might Be Experiencing a Vulnerability Hangover
Pause
Breathe
Become aware
Check in and Reflection Questions: ✍️
When was the last time you experienced a vulnerability hangover?
What was the situation you were in? How did it make you feel? Take a moment to describe the situation and your feelings.
Name one way you can care for yourself when you are experiencing a vulnerability hangover.
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Just a reminder: I am a Certified Peer Counselor and Wellness Recovery Coach. I use my own lived experience of mental health and wellness recovery to walk alongside others in their recovery. I am not a medical doctor or clinical counselor. I do not attempt to diagnose or prescribe. If you or a loved one needs immediate care, please seek out your nearest health care provider or call 911.
Also be aware that anytime we are talking about mental health, any number of topics could trigger our emotions. Please take precautions while listening and seek out support if needed.
Video created by my beloved daughter, Mia McVay! I admire how brave you are and how you live from your heart. You are COURAGEOUS.
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